Stuff Educated Black People Like

In an effort to show off my unbiased approached to humor, my girl Kia over at Yummy411 put me on to one for my black folks! It's also hilarious as ever!

Here are some of the things we supposedly like:

First Fridays (that's the truth!), turkey bacon/sausage (not me!), natural hair, townhomes, business cards, etc. etc.

Check it out for yourself!

"Stuff White People Like"

I can't take credit for this one....my bloggirl over in Denmark posted this site on her page. So, being the nosey chica I'm not ashamed to be, clicked the link and within secs I was amazed at its content. The name of the blogsite is Stuff White People Like . No offense to my readers of the caucasian persuasion, but in true 90's slang, "this joint is funny!"

Here's a snapshot of the list: marijuana, black friends, coffee, t-shirts, non-profit organizations, the Sunday New York Times, Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!), etc., etc.
However, there's one that I'm sure they left out that was purely accidental....OPRAH!

DISCLAIMER: Please don't think I'm a racist, but I do tend to enjoy an occasional laugh! Even if it seems ignorant...hey, I'm not perfect!

Text Message or "Send"

I pick up the phone and text my friend, "Remember to set your clocks an hour forward tonight." Innocent and not even that big of a deal to call and interrupt what conversation could be going on. So much for my trying to be convenient...I'm later told by him that I could easily pick up the phone and press "send". While that might seem easy to do, I still don't see the problem in texting a piece of information that doesn't require feedback. Why I might accent this text with a typical "How are you today?"...He may reply and even ask the same of myself. I may reply as well, but really people, has texting become a nuisance? Now, I do have a cousin that only communicates via text messaging. She will not pick up the phone and will have long pages of information that I'm sure could be easily communicated the conventional way. I have another cousin, who once texted his mother, while he was using the bathroom that "there's no toilet paper"! That's purely ridiculous!

Now, I've sent long pages of text (mainly to vent my feelings at the moment), without the interruption of the intended audience. As you can see, I'm really good at expressing myself in type....but in conversation, sometimes I hit it on the head, while in most cases, I forget what I'm supposed to say and miss the whole point of my thesis. One look, one word, and I'm sidewinded speechless!
So if you're reading friend....it's not that I don't want to talk to you. Most of the time, I know that you're busy and may not have time to talk. So, in an effort to put my Public Relations degree from Hampton U into practice, I try to keep those things into mind. I'm not trying to be bothersome by texting, it's quite the opposite. From now on, however, it's "send" everytime.

iGreen

The Incredible Hulk wouldn't feel like the odd-ball in the new wave of an environmentally-friendly buying conscious. I knew we'd struck Green when, while shopping at Wal-Mart, I witnessed the Green movement! Placing my items on the conveyor belt, a couple before me were already supplied with reusable shopping bags. They proudly told the cashier, "We don't use plastic bags." The cashier seemed to be unfamiliar with the new "green" option, but bagged their groceries anyway, unmoved by the couples' pro-global choice. I, on the other hand, gave the couple a pleasing nod, and couldn't help the remorse I felt as my groceries were bagged in those hazardous, polyethylene, plastic bags. So, what did I do? What I normally do when I want to know more, get on the World Wide Web and find ways that I can be apart of the Green Team!



One of my friends had this bag as one of their MySpace wallpapers. After clicking here and there, I found this fashionable, linen-and-cotton shopping bag at Vivre.com for only $28!

Organic style. An online eco-boutique, where everything from flowers to pet stuff to clothes, keep the environment in mind! Most of their clothing is made from organic cotton. What's the deal with organic cotton? Organic cotton is made from 100% organic cotton growth. That means, no pesticides or agricultural chemicals. It's whitened naturally with hydrogen peroxide instead of toxic chemicals!

The Hybrid Car. If you're like me, you're wondering, "Why would I purchase a hybrid car? And what is it?!" Of course I'm a fan of foreign cars, domestic in some cases, but in the light of booming gas prices, I'm looking for the next car that's going to give me more miles for the gallon. So how do they work? They are a combination of fuel and electric and require a battery replacement at about 80,000 miles to keep the car running another 80,000. Wow! Sounds amazing huh? Well, the only thing that kinda turns me off is the fact that the battery costs anywhere from $5,000 to $8,000!!! Also, hybrid cars cost more than our gas-guzzlers and don't accel to those zooming, police-chase speeds! But, if you're willing to pay more, in an effort to help our fragile Earth, then get the keys to a hybrid!

If I was a RICH GIRL...

"If I was a rich girl...nanananananananananana...said I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl...." I remember dancing with my shoulders and hips to that reggae classic by Lady Saw. Imagining the finer things, accenting a size 6 derriere that men could never resist.

Fast forward to present day, size 6 plus, and you have a 20-something female hoping that one day, excess money will be one pin-number-away. I'm talking about plus six figures and me exercising my right to withdraw! Nonetheless, I would love to invest, save, and triple my profit margin. I do not want to get caught up in the spending hype, like so many youngins do, in an effort to accelerate full speed ahead of the Joneses. I want to be wise in my spending and humble in my appreciation of the dollar bill. Let's face it, our dollar bill has lost its international appeal and has become the victim of a worldwide celebrity roast! "Hahaha, you stupid dollar," ridicules China, England, France & Italy.

This up-and-coming RICH GIRL would like to pull the plug on making it paycheck to paycheck and embrace the income bracket of exercising philanthropy if so desired! A shoe closet that makes you drool and a lifetime supply of Duracell batteries...you know, just in case! : )

Giving Up Is So Hard To Do

I'm not a quitter. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to give up with anything, including a relationship. I don't want to lose at anything, but I definitely don't want to wave the white flag as a sign that I've succumbed to the intensity of the test.
Recently, I had no other choice. I had to give up. I had to release myself and realize that there was no use in staying and trying any longer. The bell had rang, the towel had been thrown long ago, I stood on a battlefield with a restless contender. I'm tired and he's still bouncing on his toes throwing butterfly punches. Although men complain about the complexity of women, they've neglected to include themselves into that equation. Men are more confused about their feelings, which leads them to showcase their lethargic state in loud silence, retreat, and a heightened isolation from the situation. Well pass the batton to me! I feel you and as the mountain of relationship after relationship ascends, I've passed the plate of remaining in frustration and serenading to the "I Surrender All" anthem.
Donny Hathaway said it best...Giving up is hard to do, when you really love someone. But I tried, but it's just no use!

Bag Lady's Anonymous!

We all gathered....baggage in tow...we paraded into a dimly lit space. A few words were exchanged with those attending. Some of us made eye contact, briefly, but almost in an intimidating sense of the word. Martinis & Chardonnays in hand, we knew we were all there as victims of addiction. And as addicts, as soon as the anecdote hit the table, it would be "every man for himself"! I was just thankful I wore my flats!

Our addiction...handbags...and tonight's dealer...Nneka Hurley. So what was my drug of choice for the night?...She had the nerve to tease us with all kinds of totes and clutches. Arm Candy is the theme and true to name, it felt like a sugar rush, as each model provoked our taste buds of style. Others drooled, I plotted...how could I get to "the one" in the coolest way without drawing the attention of others to it?




Upon entering the establishment, we were given an array of treats, Nneka Hurley stationery, and a raffle ticket. "Ooh free bag..." Of course, anyone likes anything for free-99! So I tucked my raffle ticket away, in safe keeps of course, hoping I'd be a lucky handbag winner.

A few steps more, and to your right is one of those cakes that you hate to cut! Decorated to perfection in the Nneka Hurley logo! Later I learned that a friend of Nneka's did it all, freehand! I couldn't believe it! I'm still trying to take that in!


Then after the inaugural speech of Nneka, we delighted in a candy parade of delightful treats that sweeten the arms and tempt the hands. One after the other, models strutted with their arm candy under a sea of camera flashes and the touches of potential buyers. After it was all over, we tried to walk in a very relaxed, but hurried pace to the handbag table. All bags, available for sale at a discounted price! I walked around others. Watched as everyone searched and refer to their camera album, trying to remember the bag that got their attention. Finally I saw mine, it was already in the hands of a potential buyer. I saw her eyebrows raise and lips purse. She said to her friend, "I really like this bag!" But I sensed a hesitance and true to my prediction, she placed it back on the table. Pre-buyer's remorse will get you. But if you're like me and you've got invisible handbag antennas, you'll dispatch it to the home of your possession. So, in my smooth ploy, I reached for the bag in a very cavalier disposition. A smile and a nod from Nneka, I'm now the proud owner of a Nneka Hurley bag that is much~too underpriced afforded to the modesty of the designer. She's definitely mindful of the income brackets of her consumers (& friends) and tries to support the inalienable right of all of us, who see fashion as a one size fits all!



I'm happy with my purchase. No buyer's remorse here. I simply can't take my eyes off it. I can't believe that one of my friends made this beautiful work of art. I can't wait to rock it with a pair of bad denims, a white-tee, some kick-rock shoes and my beautiful hair. It's definitely going to get some serious attention throughout the 2008 and beyond! If I've got a sweet tooth, then blame my new handbag. True to the candy theme, there's a treat on the inside, A Note of Inspiration from Nneka Hurley. So what was on my card: Real faith is doing the best you can do and leaving the rest up to God.
I sighed when I read that and put my card away in my journal. Words to live by and a handbag to talk about. Whoever knew that arm candy could be so sweet?

Thanks Nneka...for your annointed hands!

P.S. I didn't win the handbag raffle! : (

Ashy to Classy

They've come along way. Check out my take on those A-listers, who once lived in a cocoon, but then one day, blossomed into a beautiful butterfly. Call it what you want...they've got a gold star in extreme makeover!

Sweaty Palms, Curling My Toes

It's been awhile! No sweaty palms, curling toes, stacatto

heartbeats...I miss those moments. Heavy, synchronized

breathing, my nails digging into skin, my back arched and

anticipating some...mmmmmmmmmmm

Lord have mercy!

Please everyone, pray for me!

Wake Up Alone

I can't believe that I'm saying this...publicly, but recently, I had to walk away from a situation. Okay, let me stop trying to be so politically correct and get reality show honest. I had to walk away from him, ya'll. It was hard, but I grabbed my altar ego Superwoman suit and threw it on. The S on my chest pertruded, as I walked away with my head held high and an ounce of integrity left. Yes, my chest aches and I want to turn back around, but I'd rather be restless. Alone, in my bed, reaching for another heart beat, than settle for discontentment. The reality is, I have to walk alone, if he can't walk by my side. If he doesn't reach out for my hand and looks the other way when I reach for his, we're definitely not on the same path.
Nowadays, I'm absorbed in my work and I keep idle moments to a minimum. I try not to get trapped in deep thoughts and memories. I focus on the present moment and my determined future of love and respect. There are moments, when his name races across my mind. I look at my phone and check for a flashing red light, a missed call, or an unanswered text message. When I fall asleep at night, the hardest fight is to not dream about him. Our last thoughts at the magic moment when we slip into slumber, is usually what we dream about. So the television is my hiatus for keeping me off that dreamboat.
When I awaken, the fresh moment of forgetting what was heavy on my heart yesterday is priceless. But then something reminds me, my Blackberry, a scent, a song on the radio, or my heart instantly remembers that it's time to ache for him again.
I'm okay. Waking up like this. Operating daily with my phone left inside of my car, to keep me focused on the much needed distractions of the day. Prayers by the moment and deep sighs get me through my nine to five. I'll be fine and maybe one day, one day in the future...He'll come for me and I'll drown in our passion for one another. But until then, I'll wake up alone.

V-Day....throw up!

Barf! Barf!....That's the way I feel when the parade of roses, carnations, and balloons make it into the workplace. The economy booming Valentine's Day routine has become purely robotic in the ploy to keep the words "I Love You" plastic and free from actually saying it the other 364 days!
You may say that's harsh to say...but let's face it...we're living in a not so friendly world. Songs don't even sing about love anymore and to actually say the word has ended up somewhere on the things-to-do-before-I-die list!
If you're in a relationship and this day just sealed the deal...then by all means you have nothing but my deepest regards and best wishes. But if you're somewhere in between and I-don't-know-if-this-is-a-relationship so let me get something for you anyway, then I'm shaking my head as I type this and I hope that you didn't just waste money for something that's not worth the time you waited in line to get it.
Hey I'm not the Scrooge that stole Valentine's Day. I'm the Bitch that pulled Cupid by his feathers and said, "quit shooting that damn arrow at worthless assholes!"

Girl, Interrupted...

I'm sorry everyone. This isn't like me. I haven't wrote a thing in a week! It's not that I have nothing to say...It's just that I've been caught up in the business of life! Work, too. That's been really keeping me occupied these days. I promise, I promise...when the time allots my brain to take a break from an unforseen number of tasks, I'll have so much to say and you'll have plenty to read.

Stay tuned...Get the popcorn ready!

Spring Forward or Throw...back?

Say "Hello", or rather, "Hello, long time no see..." Neon is back! Well, with a new millenium perspective. Remember MTV circa 1980s and you've pretty much got the palette for the upcoming spring season! I can't wait....I'm like every American girl, pretty in pink and ready for a spring that's flashing in bold, neon, fluorescent hues! It's HAUTE-pink!

Take a look at J Crews' new arrivals. This is definitely a throwback from my middle school fashion color palette.