New Years Resolution - 52 Proof

This year, I'm being realistic. How many times do we make a list of resolutions we want to resolve for a new year? And, how many times does that list become compromised by the third week?

So, I've decided to take it week-by-week. Each week I will dedicate myself to a resolution that will hopefully become embedded in my genetic code and eventually become apart of my daily life. Here's my list of 52 Weeks of Resolutions. They say if you do something for 3 days, nonstop, it will become a habit. Hopefully, that's not a myth.

Enjoy and add your own, if you wish!

1. Begin my customized diet regime. No eating bread for an entire week. Yes, it begins this week, no next Monday...today! Have a breadless week!
2. Drink only water. No Kool-Aid is not colored water. No Vitamin Water, just pure bottled or tap water. Make sure you wear those cotton panties or maybe grab a pack of Depends.
3. Workout everyday for 30 minutes. Everyday, get up (morning or afternoon) and go to the gym. No, you can not go into your living room and do situps for a substitute.
4. The week of meditation. Meditate for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes before going to bed. This is daily, so make sure you've set your alarm to make time for it.
5. Pray everyday. Talk to God every hour. (Maybe not out loud when others are around.) Just make sure this week you show the man upstairs some attention. (Not your boss.)
6. No cursing, swearing. Notice I gave you a few weeks to get it out of your system. So I hope you cursed enough the past 5 weeks. (Hopefully you didn't curse on Week 5 when you were talking to God.) Nonetheless, you've got to get rid of that potty-mouth.
7. Buy yourself something you really want with that Income Tax Refund. Don't spend all of it on one item. But at least go ahead and purchase that Marc Jacobs bag you've been drooling over at Saks.
8. I love you week. This week tell your loved ones, how much you love them. Say, I love you everyday to someone that definitely deserves it.
9. Be slow to speak and quick to listen this week. Keep the talking down to the minimum of your job convo and that's about it. Other than that, practice this week on listening to what others have to say. You have the right to remain silent!
10. If this happens to be the week you pay the price for being a woman, then it needs to be swapped with another week. This is the week where you can not have sexual intercourse. Cuddle with him and do everything...but!
11. 200 situps daily. I don't care how you divide it up. But by this time, the pounds should be shedding and the waist line should be debuting. So to help with the process, you can do 100 situps in the morning and 100 at night.
12. Read a book or listen to an audiobook this week.
13. You'll be green this week, and that's not because you're envious or naive. This week you're only eating vegetables. If it wasn't grown from a garden, then you won't consume it!
14. Write in your journal daily. Record the activities of the day, or lack thereof.
15. No gossiping. If it's tempting, then leave the table or room. Go somewhere where it does not exist. If someone you know begins talking about someone, then bite your tongue as hard as you can. Maybe the pain will cease those lips from adding to the juice!
16. No music this week! OMG! I know, but this week you'll rely on crickets and quiet noise to get you thru the week. It will be just you and your thoughts.
17. Draw a picture everday. You have the talent! So let's see how you would do in the artist profession. Eat your heart out Ernest Barnes.
18. Plan your getaway to London, Paris, Rome, Milan, Greece...I don't care where it is, just begin making hotel and airline reservations for week 25.
19. Brush up on those piano skills. Play the piano everyday. I don't care if it's only For Eloise...just play! It's a talent that you practically begged for!
20. Read the Bible this week. Of course, you read the Bible anyway...you love biblical history. But read it this week like it's a juicy novel you can't wait to pop open.
21. Pick up the pennies. Wherever you see change, pick it up and save it. See how much you can save!
22. Cater to your man this week. Ask him what he desires and let it be your duty to fulfill his wishes. Now of course, there are some conditions on those desires. There are just some things you'll never do, for any man!
23. Indulge myself this week. Take care of you! Schedule a physical, breast exam, massage, body treatment, pedicure, manicure, facial, teeth cleaning, and take yourself out to your favorite restaurant and see a good movie! (No plus 1's)
24. Call a friend you haven't spoken to in forever, each day this week.
25. Travel abroad. Wherever you planned to go back on week 18, that's your destination this week. Have fun and be safe living it up in a foreign country. Don't forget your passport!
26. No MySpace this week. : (
27. Write a letter to special friends and relatives everyday this week. They'll really love the special attention. I mean when was the last time you got a letter in the mail? 1993?
28. Time to go to Hallmark and stock up on "Thinking About You" cards. Send all of your girlfriends a touching card.
29. Pamper your mother this week. Send her flowers, fix her lunch and dinner, wash & style her hair and do all the things that will make your mother feel like a queen.
30. Be Daddy's girl this week. Although you still are, let him know that everyday this week, you'll be hanging out with him.
31. Send off your articles to magazines you would like to write for this week. Make sure you proofread with a fine-tooth comb! Make a list of magazines you'd like to do freelance work for and send off those query letters without hesitation!
32. Take your daughter outside and play everyday this week. Even if you're tired, push yourself to dedicate the entire week to your special daughter. No phone, no significant other...just you and Little Miss Sunshine.
33. Movie week. Watch a new movie everyday that you haven't seen before.
34. No cell phone this week. However, your cell phone is like your lifeline, so let's say the phone stays on QUIET mode and you can only answer incoming calls from "HOME". No text messaging either! OMG! I don't know if I can do this one, so I'm going to need everyone praying for me on this week!
35. Tell a joke everyday this week. Make somebody laugh.
36. You can't get mad this week. If you feel your eyebrowns turning south...turn that frown, upside down!
37. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This week, you can't talk to him. Not even text message. Come on, that's too close to week 34! Oh well, you can inform him of this week's resolution ahead of time. So talk his head off the Saturday prior!
38. No television this week. Make sure you've erased enough hours on your TiVo so you'll have enough space to record & watch what you missed for the week.
39. You can't say, "I know that's right" this week. Please avoid your popular catch phrase you use when you don't know what to say!
40. Give to the needy. This week you're cleaning out your closet and giving all those size (cough!) to someone who can wear them!
41. Clean the house this week. Clean and dust everywhere you've never hit before. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Wipe until you see a bald white man with an earring.
42. Write all the words in the dictionary. Make sure its not a school dictionary. Gasp! So, exercise your right hand, but be glad that your brain will have expanded its vernacular.
43. Create a financial portfolio this week. Pull your credit report and bank statements. Tract your spending habits and make improvements. Create a financial plan that would make the Trump give you a thumbs up!
44. It's your time to make the judges at Project Runway take a second look. Construct a fashionable garment this week and wear it on the weekend. Make it work!
45. Do something nice for someone you do not even know that well. Pick someone at work or at your church and be a blessing to them. This week dedicate yourself to sharing with them the blessings you've been provided. Let them sit under your umbrella.
46. Go out this weekend and have a good time. But guess what, you won't have a glass in tow. So when you hear "Buy Me a Drink" come on, you may want to make a run to the bathroom for a spell. No sipping off others either!
47. Begin your bathroom renovation. Make that bathroom look like it belonged to Marie Antoinette. Choose some bathroom friendly colors, towel racks, and other bathroom accessories that will make your bathroom your favorite room to be in.
48. Start your novel this week. Begin the research and dedicate yourself to defining characters and plot diagraming the book that you've always wanted to write but never quite committed to!
49. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Go up in the attic and get that Christmas tree (or maybe you need to buy one). Get creative and make your own wreaths and bows.
50. Revisit your diet plan. It's the holidays and certainly you've been enjoying the reason for the season. So cut back and eat smaller portions.
51. No eating out this week. Everything you eat, will have to be concocted in your kitchen. No Stouffer's either!
52. This week you can....curse, swear, eat bread, drink, lay around the house, tell anybody off, get mad, gossip, turn the music up, spend lavishly, talk and text message like crazy, and all the other things that drove you crazy from not being able to do the other 51 weeks of the year. And when you're finished, look back on all the things you accomplished and be proud of yourself! You stuck to something and some things stuck to you!

HAPPY 2008!